Doom. DOOM.

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Escape

I escape into fantasy
The “real world” feels dark.
Empty. Lonely.
So I escape into daydreams.
I go on holidays. I see friends.
Places I can put off reality.

My fantasy world.
My imagined persona.

My escape.
The mask that I wear.

It’s all to cope with the crushing emptiness. To cope with the fear of having to deal with life alone.

It leaves me to wonder.
Who am I, really?
Who am I after everyone has gone?
Who am I in the darkness, when no one is watching, when no one else cares?

I keep up the mask to keep people in the dark. To keep people from seeing me.
I don’t want to pretend anymore. I don’t want to live in this fantasy. I want the real world to feel kind the fantasy feels.
That I’m accomplished
That I’m successful
That I have integrity.
I want to look inside myself and see what others see. At the moment all I see is the lie.

The lie that I’m okay. That I’m coping.

I see the financial struggle
I see the weight and the overeating
I see the need for approval and acceptance so overwhelming that I’m prepared to fight tooth and nail for it.

<em>He</em> saw it.
He saw the darkest parts of myself and used it to his advantage.
He saw the lies I told myself and the world around me, and he tried to get me to face it
He tried to force me to face it and because I refused to, he grew so frustrated and angry that he would hurt me, hit me, I drew out an anger in him that he couldn’t control.

And now, the pattern repeats. Desperately trying to claw back control over my life by pretending I’m fine. Trying to put the curtain back together. Trying to keep myself behind the mask.

But the mask is breaking. Do I have the strength to keep it up?

Do I have the strength to take it off?

I’ve faked strength for so long. How will I know what the reality of it is?

This country is fucking ridiculous

No news reports of the riots in Scotland, whatever news I can see is making it look like it’s Yes voters rioting.

WTF is wrong with England? I say that as an English woman.

Is there a country I can move to that doesn’t have stupid drama and news blackouts and has actual respect for it’s citizens and wants them to be happy?

uberthesniper:

Please don’t ignore what’s happening in Glasgow

please don’t ignore what’s happening in Glasow

Please don’t ignore what’s happening in Glasgow

There’s been someone stabbed for being a Yes voter,there’s Nazi salutes and Chants happening,cuffles with the police, fascism, bigotry, hatred, intolerance, Saltire burning and young women being terrorized on the street.

fuckyeahtattoos:

in the film “garden state,” the first song that plays is “don’t panic” by coldplay. in the book “the hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy,” by douglas adams, the literal guide to the galaxy has the phrase “don’t panic” written in large, friendly letters on the cover. in reality, i have a bit of an anxiety problem. done in black ink, times new roman font, above my inner right elbow (the lines are cleaner and very crisp in person, i promise).
done by Bear at Storyteller Tattoo in Manassas, Virginia. 

fuckyeahtattoos:

in the film “garden state,” the first song that plays is “don’t panic” by coldplay. in the book “the hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy,” by douglas adams, the literal guide to the galaxy has the phrase “don’t panic” written in large, friendly letters on the cover. in reality, i have a bit of an anxiety problem. done in black ink, times new roman font, above my inner right elbow (the lines are cleaner and very crisp in person, i promise).

done by Bear at Storyteller Tattoo in Manassas, Virginia. 

800percentdone:

m-to-the-ontoya:

RIDE LIKE THE WIND BULLSEYE!

ALL I DID WAS GO IN THE FOREST TAG


THIS WAS ON MY BLOG FROM AGES AGO AND I NEED TO REMIND YOU ALL OF ITS EXISTENCE. YOU ARE WELCOME.

800percentdone:

m-to-the-ontoya:

RIDE LIKE THE WIND BULLSEYE!

ALL I DID WAS GO IN THE FOREST TAG

THIS WAS ON MY BLOG FROM AGES AGO AND I NEED TO REMIND YOU ALL OF ITS EXISTENCE. YOU ARE WELCOME.

tattrx:

Kamil Mokot Tattoo - Guillotine Bird tattrx.com/artists/kamil-mokot

This style is the best

tattrx:

Kamil Mokot Tattoo - Guillotine Bird
tattrx.com/artists/kamil-mokot

This style is the best

wobbufetts:

aidn:

how the hell do i talk to people

Stand in front of them and press A

Love this style

Love this style

tattrx:

NOEL’LE LONGHAUL
Providence, Rhode Island
www.noellelonghaul.com
facebook.com/noelle.longhaul
flickr.com/photos/60103178@N04
Email: noellelonghaul@gmail.com

tattrx:

NOEL’LE LONGHAUL

Providence, Rhode Island

www.noellelonghaul.com

facebook.com/noelle.longhaul

flickr.com/photos/60103178@N04

Email: noellelonghaul@gmail.com

This is beautiful.

This is beautiful.